Domestic Violence 101

Its been 2 weeks since Chris threw me into the trash can along with Titi. I have since left home, sought help from the shelter, made a police report about the incident and filed for a temporary restraining order. That was the 9th of August.

It has so far been a real traumatic journey not only for me but also for the children. The canker sores that I had from the beginning has not wan off  during this entire episode, sticking to me, reminding of the stress I am going through.

And now, I can finally break my silence blogging it away as much as I want as my mom will be here and I can finally tell her myself the nightmare I have been going through. I had to shut my mouth as I didn't want to alarm her and didn't not want her frantic over this unfortunate episode.   So as I write this, she is on the plane, thankfully oblivious to the real situation.

I need all the moral support I can garner at this point of time and it will be so comforting to have my mother around wrapping me and surrounding me with positivity and love.

Back to my sad story,  it was circa 10.30am when I went into Chris's truck and looked for the camera. Once found, I turned it on only to see pictures and photos of him and some girl taking a vacation together. The obvious course of action for me was to confront him and so I did. What took me by surprise was not him denying anything but to tell me that I was invading his privacy and that I was harassing the girl, and she would get a restraining order on me.  Practically, bla, bla and more bla.

He then took the SD card from the camera and shoved the camera to me and went to take his shower. I went back into the truck and pulled out his mac and found a flight itinerary for the girl arriving the very same day and returning to San Marcos, Texas on the 13th. Darn it I was so mad, I didn't even see her name. I think I must have been spewing steam out of my eyes and ears.

When he caught me snooping on his mac, he got even madder and more hostile. I rattled him even more when I asked to speak to her as he kept insisting they were only friends... tahi ayam right ? So as I sat there with my son on my lap playing with the steering wheel, Chris promptly picked me up and straight buang me in the trash can ....

I was yelling help help and help and Titi was screaming and crying. And poor Annie who was trying to help me..got nudge away in the process. My poor children. I got so mad and so angry not at him but at myself.

I was a terrible mom, I had allowed this madness to get to my children and they were getting the brunt of it, Wasn't it enough that they had to hear every slur that came out of his mouth and deal with his mean personality ? I had a choice but they did not. It was time to act  and time for me to be a real mom.

I packed the trunk full and went straight to the shelter. They promptly told me to find a safe spot and to return on Thursday  to deal with the restraining order.  The kids and I slept in a hotel for two nights and we went to Alice house on Wednesday night. Although I knew that Chris was out of town, that house will never be our home anymore. There was no turning back. My system was in shock over the whole ordeal and went to bed that night feeling sore all over. Even Titi was stressed out, tossing and waking up looking for me to comfort him. It was a bad night.

I did not want to file a police report against him as my intentions were not to get him into trouble.  But following my emotions only makes me a wimp and I am no wimp, well not any more that is. He needs to know what he did was wrong and that he cannot think that he is above the law. Not only that, I worried about the kick back effect and was afraid of retaliations on his part

However, truth be told the old karen would have have kicked this crappy male to the curb a long time ago . I wonder what took me so long to wake up. I thought it was best for the children but now I realised that whats best for them is to be OUT of this toxic situation and only I could do that for them since they could not themselves.

As in the case of OJ Simpson who was slowly killing Nicole Simpson over time before she finally  died. It was the same for me. Only I am still alive and I can make a difference.