Three lil effers

He called Alice and said he wanted some advise cause he did not have a mom. He wanted to ask her what he should do about his three little effers...... 

nice right.....

Death Threats

It was made mid July 2010

I was folding the laundry in the guest bedroom, the kids were with Eddie out in the living area. He came into the room, close the door and said menacingly  "I will beat you within the inch of your life, you have taken years from my life and now you owe me. You can run back to Malaysia and hide but I will find you and administer this punishment"

He was not shouting.  Just said that quietly and walked out.
I started sobbing.

Pajamas

He woke me up at 5am to make him coffee. I got up from the bed and made it, leaving the two kids asleep. 

Annie was already three and Titi was probably a little over six months. 

I made the coffee and went back into bed, I heard Titi  waking up. I also locked the room door as a precaution.

I started breast feeding the baby when I heard him shouting and cursing outside. Before long he came knocking on the door and when he realised the door was locked, he broke it down.

He came towards me and the sleeping kids with anger, shouting and screaming at me.  

I have long forgotten the words but not the incident.  He woke the kids up and they were crying. He was just looking down on me cursing me out. I am sure I told him to leave me alone and to stop his tirade but he did not. 

What I said inflamed him more, he then started clawing at me and tore my pajama pants, literally ripping it to bits.

I think he left after that , I can not recall now.

I also took the kids out via the french door in the bedroom and left the house.

COURT RULING

Today was a good day and am very blessed . Thanks YOU all for the prayers, kind thoughts and positive advice given to me.

The Judge gave a three year restraining order to me (can be re-newed !!) and full physical and legal custody of the children. I am not allowed to change the country they reside in, which is ok !  As long as they get to cuti cuti heheh.

It was rather nerve racking sitting court today. The Judge very se-lam-ba only . Already know I so was anxious, she still took her time to see other cases and clearing her court before calling us. I am just thinking that she did it because she did not want too many audience around us. I might have squeeze my advocate's hands too tight and had sweaty palms too.

When we sat at the counsel table, he was not around. He was in and out and pacing the hallway and went out to smoke too I am guessing. The judge waited for like a second and then just went on the record. She said she found evidence of Domestic Abuse present and in the past.  She said the horrific pictures of the bruises were clear evidence and it did not matter if it was cause by me being thrown in the trash can or whether he closed the door on me.

It was short !!!
Which was unlike her because she usually gives a long narration explaining her decisions.

I sat down and waited for my paperwork to be completed. Then I got escorted out again by the deputy. This time they took me out the back way, 5 minutes earlier too before giving him the papers, just in case he gets mad and went  looking  for me. PHeW.. there were three deputies in the same courtroom with us, biasanya only satu only but because of him aaaaa.... we got banyak.  Make me even more nervous...

I am glad this crucial part is over.
I am glad that me and the children are together which is the most important part
However a piece of paper cannot keep me safe.
I will have to watch out for retaliation and revenge which is making me nervous.

Now to mediation to customised the visitations, then child support , spousal support... and divorce in the end.. another 5 more months to go

Photos of Bruises..

eddie's testimomy

I am very sad to write this but it needs to be said.

Eddie whom I have brought  up like a son, has become the  "anak derhaka" in this case.
So melodrama kan ?

Today Eddie claims that I slapped him  on numerous occasion.

He claims that I abuse the kids and Chris does not.

He claims that I stole money and that he saw the trash can incident before going into the house to pick the phone up.

He claims that Chris did not abuse him. He claims that they throw things at each other all the time !
Like ping pong paddles, tennis rackets and ahem darts too)

He claims that Chris threatened me but cannot recall what was said.

He claims that Chris slapped him... but refuses to go further. He claims that Chris had punched him before but not close fisted. (ca u punch any other way ?)

He claims that Chris broke his laptop because he spent too many hours on it and it was slow.
(I think not, it was a new sony vaio that cost the grandmother  1.8k )

He also claims that He moved back down to LA because I was not there anymore.
Now that is the funny thing to say, is it not ?
That the reason for him moving back to LA was because I was no longer around !
Why would he want to be around me if I was such a maniacal tyrant who abused him right ?

And if he did see me kena buang in the tong sampah, how come he did not come and help me out ? And instead went into the house to answer a phone call ????

I dont know why Eddie twisted the events and why he had lied but I am sure it was a matter of survival for him. So I forgive him and hope he will learn to live with his mistakes and lay in the bed he has made for himself. Kesian.....

Restraining Order Court Hearing is over.

Today is finally the last day we will go to court and testify. The court ruling will be on Monday 8.45am.

All testimonies and evidence has been given and both parties has said their piece. I am trying to be objective without getting overly emotional as it was a tiring experience. I always seem to start the mornings with a headache and go home with one too, only to sleep and dream about the proceedings and waking up going through the same motion again.

I have a wonderful attorney who is full of spark and energy. She is witty, funny and a big comfort to me. She however made me re-live every single agonising moment of the ordeal and the abusive nature of the relationship. She was very tough on me and I am glad that she did her job well.

I also have an advocate who sits with me through the proceedings from the Marjaree Mason Center. She holds my hands when I have to answer the questions pelted at me. Many a times,  I was questioned about my mental stability because I needed her there. Many a times also, I was questioned if I was obtaining my answers from the advocate.

Let me be clear, the advocate is sent by the center to help DV victims especially when they have to face their aggressor. The victims would feel intimidated and often do not have the courage to voice out or elaborate their answers, thus not giving a true and complete testimony. My advocate was there to remind me to stay calm and to focus on my answers, trying to tell it as truthfully as I could to the best of my ability.

Making my testimony was hard work. Listening to others was harder.

It always is such a juxtaposition in matters like this. I say I was being abuse. He would say I was the abuser. I say he was screaming and yelling at me, he says that it was mutual. I say that he was mean  and abusive to the kids, he says I was meaner and worse. Seems to me no matter what I testified, he said it better and fiercer and most definitely louder than me. If I cried because I remember being tormented by him, he cries even better  because I took the children away form him.  I simply do not know if it was play acting and I won't speculate but I must say I was most impressed with his efforts to demoralise me, to assassinate my character and to  insinuate that I was this mad raging woman who had no control what so ever.

It does pains me to be painted that way but I suppose this comes with the territory when I decided to obtain this restraining order on him. He wanted to settle and obtain mutual restraining order on me and him, I applaud his smart tactics but I must decline. I do not need him near the children without being supervised by a third party. I am afraid he would kidnap the kids and take them to Romania as I heard from a good source that it was the intended plan once he got them unsupervised. I know he would be out for revenge and the only way to hurt me would be through the children. He has already made police report against me and has tried to get me into trouble. He also made threats through my attorney and shouted very loudly at the court hallway that I would never be an American citizen and he would get me into trouble. He also ahem said he would never harm the mother of his children (so why the threats and the menacing persona ?)

He also made claims that he loved his wife and family and would like the court to order us for marriage counselling before anything else.

This to me is preposterous. During our marriage, he made no effort to spend time with his children, I think I could safely say it was 10 minutes a day if any at all and when he was around, it was always in an angry tense environment. The kids and I were on standby to get out of the house once he erupted like one of those live volcanoes. He was not courteous to me. He was not respectful to me nor was he ever considerate to me. In fact, I did once said let's go to counselling but he would not partake in it, stating that the problems in our marriage was on me. So I really have no idea what is going one with this one ..

I do not know how he sees himself as a good father or husband if the only thing he ever did well was providing the finances and nothing else. His main argument all this time was that I took money from him, money that was meant for the bills and that I stole it.  His claims of having no money and not paying the bills is another statement which I find so many holes in it. One minute cakap takde duit, next minute boasting he bought Eddie two new laptops for the ones he had broken. Not just any laptop ok, dua Mac probook alright.. hehehe

Let me elaborate..

Two days ago, Eddie was left at the greyhound bus station and my sis in law went to pick him up . She noticed red marks on his face. Apparently, Eddie got into an argument about the hearing. Apparently Eddie did not want to testify and he was coaching Eddie on what to say, so  he got mad-  hit the boy and broke his laptop too in the process and was sent away. Within 24 hours, the boy was back in town..why ? cause he had to take the stand to testify against me. He has a new laptop now and he came back to pack up the rest of his belongings. I see this as bribery and blackmail but that is just my opinion and no one else. Whether this story is true or not, I cannot verify as it was heresay.

In the end, I left the court  (with my trusty police escort) feeling a little elated that no one needs to take the stand anymore but now I have to start biting my nails, waiting for MONDAY MORNING... the not knowing and the uncertainty is tormenting me. I pray that the judge will see through the lies and look for the truth in case. That is all I ask for and nothing more.

To keep me and my children out of harm's way ! Amen.