Today is finally the last day we will go to court and testify. The court ruling will be on Monday 8.45am.
All testimonies and evidence has been given and both parties has said their piece. I am trying to be objective without getting overly emotional as it was a tiring experience. I always seem to start the mornings with a headache and go home with one too, only to sleep and dream about the proceedings and waking up going through the same motion again.
I have a wonderful attorney who is full of spark and energy. She is witty, funny and a big comfort to me. She however made me re-live every single agonising moment of the ordeal and the abusive nature of the relationship. She was very tough on me and I am glad that she did her job well.
I also have an advocate who sits with me through the proceedings from the Marjaree Mason Center. She holds my hands when I have to answer the questions pelted at me. Many a times, I was questioned about my mental stability because I needed her there. Many a times also, I was questioned if I was obtaining my answers from the advocate.
Let me be clear, the advocate is sent by the center to help DV victims especially when they have to face their aggressor. The victims would feel intimidated and often do not have the courage to voice out or elaborate their answers, thus not giving a true and complete testimony. My advocate was there to remind me to stay calm and to focus on my answers, trying to tell it as truthfully as I could to the best of my ability.
Making my testimony was hard work. Listening to others was harder.
It always is such a juxtaposition in matters like this. I say I was being abuse. He would say I was the abuser. I say he was screaming and yelling at me, he says that it was mutual. I say that he was mean and abusive to the kids, he says I was meaner and worse. Seems to me no matter what I testified, he said it better and fiercer and most definitely louder than me. If I cried because I remember being tormented by him, he cries even better because I took the children away form him. I simply do not know if it was play acting and I won't speculate but I must say I was most impressed with his efforts to demoralise me, to assassinate my character and to insinuate that I was this mad raging woman who had no control what so ever.
It does pains me to be painted that way but I suppose this comes with the territory when I decided to obtain this restraining order on him. He wanted to settle and obtain mutual restraining order on me and him, I applaud his smart tactics but I must decline. I do not need him near the children without being supervised by a third party. I am afraid he would kidnap the kids and take them to Romania as I heard from a good source that it was the intended plan once he got them unsupervised. I know he would be out for revenge and the only way to hurt me would be through the children. He has already made police report against me and has tried to get me into trouble. He also made threats through my attorney and shouted very loudly at the court hallway that I would never be an American citizen and he would get me into trouble. He also ahem said he would never harm the mother of his children (so why the threats and the menacing persona ?)
He also made claims that he loved his wife and family and would like the court to order us for marriage counselling before anything else.
This to me is preposterous. During our marriage, he made no effort to spend time with his children, I think I could safely say it was 10 minutes a day if any at all and when he was around, it was always in an angry tense environment. The kids and I were on standby to get out of the house once he erupted like one of those live volcanoes. He was not courteous to me. He was not respectful to me nor was he ever considerate to me. In fact, I did once said let's go to counselling but he would not partake in it, stating that the problems in our marriage was on me. So I really have no idea what is going one with this one ..
I do not know how he sees himself as a good father or husband if the only thing he ever did well was providing the finances and nothing else. His main argument all this time was that I took money from him, money that was meant for the bills and that I stole it. His claims of having no money and not paying the bills is another statement which I find so many holes in it. One minute cakap takde duit, next minute boasting he bought Eddie two new laptops for the ones he had broken. Not just any laptop ok, dua Mac probook alright.. hehehe
Let me elaborate..
Two days ago, Eddie was left at the greyhound bus station and my sis in law went to pick him up . She noticed red marks on his face. Apparently, Eddie got into an argument about the hearing. Apparently Eddie did not want to testify and he was coaching Eddie on what to say, so he got mad- hit the boy and broke his laptop too in the process and was sent away. Within 24 hours, the boy was back in town..why ? cause he had to take the stand to testify against me. He has a new laptop now and he came back to pack up the rest of his belongings. I see this as bribery and blackmail but that is just my opinion and no one else. Whether this story is true or not, I cannot verify as it was heresay.
In the end, I left the court (with my trusty police escort) feeling a little elated that no one needs to take the stand anymore but now I have to start biting my nails, waiting for MONDAY MORNING... the not knowing and the uncertainty is tormenting me. I pray that the judge will see through the lies and look for the truth in case. That is all I ask for and nothing more.
To keep me and my children out of harm's way ! Amen.
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